I've been people-shopping recently, or what some folks call Online Dating, and I've managed to meet some really interesting people.After the initial introductory emails, when communication gets a little more relaxed, I tend to end messages with a list of questions (and then I judge their responses).
It’s a great way to learn a little bit more about their background and spark a discussion about the way you both grew up. You want to know where someone came from, but it can be a delicate subject. The way that someone saw themselves in high school when they were can say a lot about who they are. Maybe it’s hitting a time goal on a run or learning how to make pesto or finally getting the hang of something at work.
(Maybe their relationship with one of their parents or siblings isn’t great.) This is a nice way to leave it open-ended, and let your date chat about their family in terms that are as specific or as general as they want. It opens up room to hear about what they value without making your date feel like they’re bragging.
Consider doing the same: Allows me to figure out, if we ever dated to the point of sleepovers, whether she'd want to get up and go jogging at 9 A. I could write an answer to this question that would last pages and pages.
M., or whether we could roll around in bed, maybe watch a movie and waste half the day (guess which one I prefer). I want to hear how important food is to her, and how creative her tastes are. This question is less of a test than pure curiosity at work.
I'm, frankly speaking, an amazing cook, and I want to know what's she's bringing to the table (also helps me weed out the vegetarians, without having to ask; I'm fine with vegetarians, but it's like a religion, I prefer to know early). If she says "the water" she may be into surfing or kayaking or a similar sexy sport.
If she says "my vacation house in Bali" I know she's probably got money and spends time on exotic islands.
If nothing else, you’re bound to get some interesting answers. Maybe it’s about being with their pet dog in the backyard or the smell of their grandmother’s house. The best way to approach it is as a light-hearted thing by offering an example of your own. ” Or, “True fact, I didn’t learn how to tie my shoes until I was in high school.” It’s a way of letting your guard down and laughing at yourself, a very attractive quality, and an invitation for your date to do the same.
Childhood memories are funny things: They reveal a lot about the way you think about the world, and the way you looked at it from a young age. As long as you’ve got a couple years to cushion you from it, it can be a time that’s rich with funny stories and little observations. What’s something you’ve been really proud of lately?
Literally millions of people (including me) who first met online are now married, and psychologists are starting to examine these relationships. One independent study surveyed almost 20,000 Americans who met their spouse online.