If you start dating prematurely, you could be hurting — rather than honoring — those you date.When Becky was invited to lunch by a man she met at a bookstore, she was excited.
And as with any loss, big or small, time is needed to grieve and to reassess who you are, where you've been and where God wants you to go.
Healing is also necessary to follow God's command to" do unto others what you would have them do unto you," (Matthew ).
Still, it can be intimidating to re-enter the world of dating.
Need a little encouragement before you take that plunge? It sounds like trite advice, but it’s worth following: Don’t date until you’re ready to date. If you’re serious about finding love again, make sure you understand where you are in the healing process.
"Know that it's okay to be exactly who you are," says Erik Newton, a former divorce lawyer and the founder of Together, a magazine and podcast for couples.
"You've grown and changed; you're stronger and wiser, and, yes, you also have some wounds.Once the idea of going on a date comes into your mind and you don't want to chase it out again, you're at least ready to start, she says. The idea is that you should consciously decide how you want to proceed," which will in turn inform how you go about meeting people.If it's truly awful, take a step back and wait some more. Gadoua, who runs dating workshops for women, asks them to free-associate words that come to mind when they think of "dating." Not surprisingly, words like "awful" and "dreadful" come up.Dating after divorce can be a minefield for the midlife woman.Perhaps even thornier than pondering what to wear on a date, where to go, who pays—not to mention how you even find people to date in this brave new world of Internet match-ups—is getting over your reluctance to take a stab at it. "A divorced woman may feel very vulnerable at this stage, in part because she used to have a spouse to 'protect' her and now she has to go out into the world on her own," says Diana Kirschner, Ph D, author of . Even though she has decided to wait a few years until her daughter is grown to reenter the dating scene, she's confused about how to proceed.