“It is important to communicate with your friends and family about your desire to start a new relationship,” says Brewer.
Once a widow hits 65, the odds for remarriage fall off sharply.
Widowed with children date and remarry with ease or not depending on the age of the children, and believe it or not – adult children can be the worst to deal with when it comes to dating and remarriage with teenagers coming in an unsurprising second. At what magical point in the days, weeks or month after a spouse dies is dating permitted?
‘A nice Christian man is keen to start a relationship with me, and I like him too,’ said the email.
‘However, his wife, to whom he was happily married, only died a few months ago. Hopeful Girl, how soon do you think is too soon to start dating after being widowed?
If I’d met my widower within a year or two of him losing his wife, I think I’d have concentrated on developing a friendship with him, and would have been very cautious of anything more until I felt confident he was ready.
In fact, he did start dating someone just three months after his wife died.There is no manual that says that a certain amount of time has to pass before you can start dating. However, like others have already said, proceed with caution.It is like when you have a breakup, there is that possibility of dating on the rebound. You don't want to end up with just anyone because you are lonely. But, I think if you feel you are ready, going out on a date-dinner, a movie, whatever, is ok. There aren't any rules; my gut feeling is that I'll begin to consider dating again when I don't feel married any longer. I'm also still emotionally drained after two year of caring for my husband as he went through various cancer treatments, and the ups and downs of remission and recurrence. I'm not the basket case I was nowadays, but of course my life partner is gone and frankly I'm pretty lonely. I wondered what others' experiences are/ were in this situation. I went threw the loss of my first wife in 1981 by way of a divorce, and it was the death of a marriage from that point on.The relationship only compounded his depression and confusion, and he now sees it as an act of desperation and loneliness.Of course, he still carries the wounds of his heartbreaking loss, but by the time I met him, he seemed genuinely open and ready for new love. It’s natural to worry that you’ll be compared unfavourably to a widow or widower’s late spouse and, sadly, this does sometimes happen.By Linda Foster Medically reviewed by Cynthia Haines, MD If your partner has died, you know what deep grief is, what it’s like to be truly alone.