The two pick at their dinner salads, staring down at the leafy mound before them. Finally, one of them tries to grease the wheels of conversation. The process begins by providing lots of space for the full expression of information and asking follow-up questions to further draw out the one talking.
Think of conversation as a tennis match in which the players lob the ball back and forth. They ask personal or sensitive questions that put the other person on the defensive. If feeling inhibited is a problem for some people, others go to the opposite extreme: they use a date as an opportunity to purge and vent.
For me, it’s the story of the time I met two people named Rob in a very similar timeframe. Finally, if you do find yourself in the midst of a quiet moment, remember that silence has its place in conversations, too.
First dates are a bit like a job interview, but yet, they should never ever feel like a job interview.
If the conversations just start to feel like a series of questions to your date, they may look forward to ending the date instead of meeting you for the next date.
By pushing past the obvious questions you think are “safe,” you get the chance to connect a little quicker and deeper than the average first date meet up.
Below are some hot tips and tweaks for your standard conversation topics to help you get to know one another better.
Striking up conversation with a perfect stranger while having not-so-secret hope that they end up being the love of your life is sometimes awkward.
It’s difficult to strike a balance of genuine conversation while still fishing for specific intel on how compatible you are, and it leaves a lot of us with a rolodex of obvious, cliché questions.
Don’t get personal or say anything that may leave your date feeling awkward or embarrassed.
You may be nervous, but that’s no reason to speak out the first thing that comes to your mind.
We’ve got a long list of great first date questions that you can use and impress, but remember to mix your questions so it’s a good blend of short answers and long answers.