Although this is a fun rule of thumb, what does research say about age preferences for potential mates?
There are two things that predict a preferred partner’s age: (a) your age and (b) your biological sex (male vs. From an evolutionary perspective, it makes sense for women to prefer mates with resources and to like partners who are more established, both of which are more likely in older partners. It turns out that, on average, women tend to be married to men a few years older than themselves (2-5 years).
In my twenties, I dated a guy who was 12 years older than me. Sometimes, I felt like the old one.” I hear ya’, sister. When he got caught, he had his bank account seized and wages garnished. “Being older meant I could suss out the difference between artistic notions and, well, laziness.” 6.
In my thirties, I went in the other direction, dating a dude 11 years my junior. ) Although both ended rather badly, I feel like that while the gaping age difference didn’t directly cause either relationship’s demise, it certainly didn’t help. Prepare yourself to feel like an alien upon meeting their friends and family.
Or are the cultural similarities that occur between people of similar ages important enough to be deal-breakers?
Of course, if having children is in your plans and you’re a man, the age of your partner matters.
I had a wonderful three year relationship with a man 17 years younger. I saw a lot of raised eyebrows and heard a lot of questions until people saw us together--and then it was clear right away that we were well suited. It all depends on your lifestage, interests, and maturity level. Otherwise, according to quite a few people on these message board, everything else is fair game, A-Ok, ant not weird.*Shrug*To each their own opinion I guess! Maybe he and I were not compatible to start with.....
We are friends to this day--we only broke up because his career took him to the other end of the country, and I was unwilling to make that move because of my career. So personally for me, I could see having lots in common with a 34 year old because of my active lifestyle and younger children but think I'd have very little in common with a 52 year old (probably for the same reasons). Other than biology issues where some people choose have children earlier and some decide to wait for later life...
However, it doesn’t represent women’s preferences at all.
So maybe there is a kernel of truth the rule, at least for men. Le's research focuses on commitment, including the factors associated with commitment and its role in promoting maintenance.
If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.” – Mark Twain The question is simple, as life expectancy goes up and people take better and better care of themselves, do traditional notions of appropriate age differences in relationships matter?