My advice is if she is a normal, healthy, functioning, productive member of society who is able to carry on normally with daily life tasks and able to maintain healthy, productive relationships, then there is no reason for him not to proceed like any other woman he may be dating. Women who *were* actually raped have difficulty speaking about it to their therapists for heaven's sake ....there is no way on God's green earth they are going to feel comfortable sharing this info with a stranger on a first date. This woman has an agenda....which IMO is, playing the victim card to draw a *certain* type of man in... It has worked for her before ..knows it will work again.
After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads. Maybe for her to not have to get so dolled up every time we go out. But I'm a little concerned how I'm going to fare in the future, if I'm the only one making changes to keep the relationship going.
I've started seeing a woman who was gang raped when she was 14, the perpetrators were never prosecuted, and she has continued on and thrived, been through two marriages and had numerous relationships that, near as I can tell, were never damaged by what happened to her 40 years ago now. At the same time, Jesus H, she's been through hell and so why would I want her to modify anything at all ever? I feel like a **** 3/4 of the time for having thoughts like these. I don't know the psychology of it but I can tell you my personal experience. So she's 54, and going out with crazy hair, boobs almost falling out of her dress, etc.? when i first saw her, and went out with her, she dressed much more demurely. So she had SEVERAL enlargement procedures but they are NOT huge?
I have no idea why, but my past relationships sure have that theme in common. If all men just go "oh God, too hard" and disappear on her..does that work? Knight in shining armor syndrome is what it's called. She's being honest, she isn't in a place where she can function normally in a good relationship and give to you because she doesn't know what a good relationship is. You can only do so much and honestly if you truly want to help her then put your own feelings and any intentions you have for her aside until she is totally ready for a real healthy relationship, otherwise you won't stand a chance with her.
This is why her seeking counseling asap is crucial here and for now, stay in the friend zone, from a loving and kind place expecting nothing from her other than seeing her get well again. She in her own way has already told you she's not worth it.
Often pain doesn't simply go away, it has to find a safe outlet.
We believe that breaking the silence is the first step toward recovery and it is our mission to provide a safe, loving, and thought-provoking online support group for each rape and sexual abuse survivor to speak out, ask for help, and give help in return. ) that you are not alone can make all the difference.
Knight in shining armor syndrome is what it's called. She's being honest, she isn't in a place where she can function normally in a good relationship and give to you because she doesn't know what a good relationship is.
This is why her seeking counseling asap is crucial here and for now, stay in the friend zone, from a loving and kind place expecting nothing from her other than seeing her get well again.
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