But she admits she could barely function for a full year after the split.Her divorce recovery classes helped her realize everyone bounces back at their own pace.
But it's also tough, she adds, because once you're on the dating scene you can feel like a teenager again, in that shaky, unconfident, not-sure-if-he'll-call sort of way.
So how can you make post-divorce dating—whether you're looking for a good time or a good (relationship-minded) man—less daunting?
Once the idea of going on a date comes into your mind and you don't want to chase it out again, you're at least ready to start, she says. The idea is that you should consciously decide how you want to proceed," which will in turn inform how you go about meeting people.
If it's truly awful, take a step back and wait some more. Gadoua, who runs dating workshops for women, asks them to free-associate words that come to mind when they think of "dating." Not surprisingly, words like "awful" and "dreadful" come up.
What you say to your children when you begin dating after your divorce will depend largely on their age. You'll be in bed when I get home."With school-age children (6-10) you can begin to provide more information.
If you need a reminder about what to expect at each developmental stage have a look here When talking with young children (infants and toddlers) describe the person you are seeing as a friend. I'll be back soon."With preschoolers (ages 3-5) still describe the person you will be going out with as as friend. You will likely want to have a more in-depth conversation about dating.
But, we humans are instinctively drawn to partnering up.
So chances are very good that sooner or later you (along with nearly every other divorced parent) will be dipping your toe into the waters of dating after divorce.
Psychotherapist Pandora Mac Lean-Hoover, who's divorced, also suggests finding a therapist who knows firsthand how vulnerable you are.