“Also, often times the person will have a lot of trust issues, and a deep-set sense of insecurity to such an extent that everything that the person will do will be for the approval of the other party in the relationship, in an effort to prove to the partner that he/she is enough for the them.” Mphunga also says that one could also be emotionally unavailable in the new relationship because he/she entered into it not because he/she wanted to, but because the situation one found him/herself called for it.
“Maybe one came out of a relationship that had financial security and is looking for that financial security in another relationship, this can lead to being absent in the new relationship,” he explains.
Both partners should be healed as much as possible from past relationships so that they able to truly enjoy the person that he or she is dating for who they really are, and not for a projection of another from one’s dating past.
Being self-aware is a skill that is so important in life.
Without it, it can be easy to go from person to person without ever really knowing what you require to be happy in a relationship, and undoubtedly when a person is still caught up in the emotional hurts from another relationship or from multiple relationships they tend to be emotionally available.
They should help you turn a scary experience into one that you can enjoy.1. There are plenty of people out there who will tell you that it's best to jump "right back on the horse." If you have only been dating casually, that advice is great.
However, this is usually not a good idea after the end of a serious relationship.
Allowing Yourself to Heal and Enjoy Life Avoiding Common Mistakes Creating Better Relationships Community Q&A After a significant relationship ends, you may feel like you will never meet someone great again.
Whether you divorced your partner of twenty years, broke up with your high school sweetheart, or just ended your third long-term relationship, it is normal to be hesitant about forging a new bond when your emotions are so volatile.
What’s more, in the security and intimacy of a long-term relationship, looking after our appearance can become a low priority; we may get out of the habit of looking for clothes that really suit us, or of spending time on grooming, because we associate these habits with our younger and (maybe) vainer selves.
However, your appearance is very important when you’re in search of a new partner – and not just because looking your best is a way of getting attention!
Don’t come with high expectations because you’re starting something that you are not sure about.
A new relationship is always unpredictable,” he says.
CHALLENGES Counselling Psychologist, Banetsi Mphunga, outlines some of the challenges that someone who finds themselves in this predicament faces.