Let them know what you have in common and ask a few pertinent questions. A basic rule to follow is to avoid overtly physical compliments in your online dating first message as this can send the wrong signal – in fact, our Kiwi members voted sexual innuendo as one of their biggest online dating no-nos!To avoid being taken the wrong way, you are best off chatting about your compatible personalities – you may truly mean your compliments but, until you know each other better, it is safer to keep such flattery to yourself.
Just like the most successful profiles are those that are upbeat, so are the most successful online messages.
Remember that you are here to sell yourself; so, rather than illustrating why someone probably won’t message you back, think like a salesperson and show off your best side.
You want to demonstrate you’ve read their profile so point out what it is you liked in the text. This is why a hard-to-read, misspelled message can only be bad news.
Share a appreciation for rugby, a passion for food or a love of literature? The truth is, legibility goes a long way – a quick and easy read lets your intended spend less time deciphering your message and more time daydreaming about your first date! While a bit of profile flirting can be very endearing, there is an art to striking a balance between flattery and over-familiarity.
How one creates a ‘first impression’ in each of these spaces can vary.
This chapter argues that some of these spaces allow individuals to gradually get to know one another, while other spaces expect individuals to reveal a wealth of information about themselves prior to any oneon- one communication with potential dates. Given that details about one’s ‘self’ are presented differently on an online dating site compared to other dating arenas, it is argued here that unique skills and strategies are required to successfully sell oneself on an online dating site.
In other words, there is an art to selling oneself on an online dating site.
This chapter will outline my BAR approach theory, which contends that if individuals are to successfully develop a romantic relationship from an online dating site, they need to present a balance between an ‘attractive’ and a ‘real’ self on their online profiles.
Dating/relationship expert Lucia explains the main difference between someone who's just not into you and someone who's just not available.