If your relationship is flat-lining, match.com’s relationship expert Kate Taylor has the relationship advice you need to tackle the emergency and breathe life back into it.The first, most important thing to remember is that it’s NORMAL for the spark to go out of a relationship at some point.
Keep these thoughts in mind: Physical attraction is a fickle thing.
Like an artistic muse, it sometimes must be courted and coaxed.
Part of this is biological: anthropologist Dr Helen Fisher states that the first “attraction” period of love changes (somewhere between 18 months and 3 years) into the calmer, less passionate “attachment” stage.
Attachment is a longer lasting commitment and is the bond that keeps couples together and biologically is the result of shifting levels of hormones and brain-chemicals.
As every high school student learns, chemistry experiments usually produce predictable results. Try again with different chemicals and you blow the doors off the lab.
Unfortunately, falling in love is not so straightforward.In that first, magical moment when you realise they could be ‘The One’, your brain becomes flooded with this chemical.Elevated levels of Dopamine can result in sleeplessness and exhilaration, among other things, so do new things with your other half and get the Dopamine flowing that way.Other than those occasional high school sweethearts who got lucky and have been together ever since, dating in your 20s should be viewed as an experiment to find out what you want out of a partner, and what you are prepared to offer yourself.However, at a certain point you need to get your romantic shit together.In a sense, every romantic relationship you will ever have goes through a “high school” stage in the beginning, during which you’re just getting to know each other and it’s OK to find some unforgivable deal-breaker, and break up with caring, but without much else owed to the other person. The longer things go on, the more you will “owe” the other person.