For men, in particular, this approach can backfire greatly.
Men, by their very nature, are trained not to talk about their issues.
As I near the “dirty 30,” I’d like to think I’ve come to terms with my diagnosis and it’s because of this I think I have the strong relationships I do with the people in my life.
Granted, it’s not easy, but sometimes it helps to talk, share and know you’re not alone.
It can be a massive struggle just to make it through each day. The people who are often forgotten are the loved ones of a person with depression. Knowing somebody you love is struggling with depression leaves you feeling incredibly helpless.
You feel if you could say the right thing, or do something special, that maybe you will be able to help them to get better. You try a gentle approach, you try a firm approach. You say encouraging things, you get frustrated and argue. From my experience, the big mistake that people often make is that they treat depression as a mood, as if saying or doing the right thing will lift the depression. This is because my depression completely changed my entire outlook on life, and it changed who I was as a person.
You give them space, you try to get them to open up. What you must remember is that depression isn’t a mood – it’s a very debilitating illness. When their loved ones are battling depression, when they are in that darkness, human nature is to try and ‘fix’ them. Whilst there are things you can do, like giving the day a routine, and trying to find activities to keep the persons’ mind active, you are not going to be able to make someone “snap out of it”, it’s just impossible.♦◊♦Try to imagine that depression is like being in a dark tunnel.
If somebody had a broken leg, you wouldn’t tell them to go for a run. The person with depression can’t see a thing, because everything is surrounded by darkness. All they want to do is get out of the tunnel, but they can’t see where to go, they don’t know what to do.Below are some tips that can help get you into the game.It’s important to keep in mind that, if you’re severely depressed and having a hard time keeping up with daily tasks, you may want to focus more on your own health before looking for a relationship.I was convinced I would lose all my friends if they knew, that they’d think I was too sad to be around.This the unfortunate reality for many who suffer from depression.But if the person you are dating is depressed, it can mean some more hard work for you.